When the Pressure Feels Too Heavy

I still remember the moment this all began.

It was a conversation with my sister Mary — one of those late-night, heart-wide-open brainstorming sessions where dreams feel real and anything feels possible.

I told her I wanted something unique. A name that had a little of me in it, but not in-your-face. I wanted it to feel special. Quietly personal. And I wanted it to honor our mom — the woman who gave us everything and never asked for anything in return.

Mary said:“What about SoGiftMe?”

It was perfect.

What I didn’t realize at the time was just how personal that name would become. Suemei — my name — was hidden right there:So. Gift. Me.

Not just a clever name. A mirror of my purpose. That seems so long ago. The memories of the those early days are still so clear. I can see their faces, remember the feeling I had when they were excited, or when we shared in a memory that they cherished.

That feeling? It was magic.

And yet, here I am now, telling the truth most small business owners rarely say out loud:

Sales are hard.

Money is tight.

My website hasn’t made a sale in months.

I’m behind on taxes.

I’m still working a full-time job.

And honestly? I am so tired.

Tired of the pressure.

Tired of trying to do everything.

Tired of fighting for every order, every post, every ounce of momentum.

Tired of acting like I’m okay when I’m not.

And on the days when I feel like I’m shouting into the void, I ask myself — why did I start this?

Especially when asking for help or “selling” anything feels like begging.

I hate asking people for things.I hate needing people.

Maybe that’s surprising to some of you reading this — especially if you’ve seen the smiling photos, the booths, the posts.

But this post is for anyone who’s felt like they’re failing, when really… they’re just doing something hard.

This is hard.

But it’s not failure.

It’s building.

It’s trying.

It's doing the best you can.

I know I’m not the only one in this place — working two jobs, juggling dreams with deadlines, holding back tears while holding up a brand. So if you’ve found this blog and you’re reading this…

Let me say it clearly:

You are not alone.

You are not failing.

You are doing something incredibly brave.

And yes — it will be worth it.

—With honesty, grace, and grit,

Suemei (수미)

Founder of SoGiftMe